[IFComp 2012] The Lift

Another clicky game?

Okay. Let’s get it done. I think though, for all other games that are traditionally IF, you are going to get an automatic +100 points.

So I’ve started The Lift by Colin Capurso, and about five seconds into the game and I’ve apparently had the need to masturbate:

There is a sign that reads, “You’re probably going to die so here are some porn and tissues.”

Use porn and tissues.

After about an hour, you’re feeling refreshed and ready for any challenge.

It took me an hour to masturbate? Really? (See image above).

It turns out that no weapon will help you slay the rats on B1, so my advice? Skip it, dude, or you’re dead. Mostly, the sword is a good choice, but it turns out most of the solutions have you end up dead, or undead in one case.

This was the ending to one of the levels:

You watch as the ghost starts eating your heart.
Your last words are..
But why does a ghost need to eat… dick

Um. Okay?

Pleas let this be the end of the CYOA games, please god.

1/10.

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